Nick Salt
Tim Sealion
Victor Void
Horseface
The Assassin
Stephen Salt
The Sphinx
The Oracle
Nicolai Sweet
FBI Jesus
Caroline Vice
The Hurdy Gurdy Man
Agent Marlboro
Svetlana Sweet
The Roly Poly Man
The President
Yuri, The Weezer Fan
Mikhail, The Weezer Fan
Henchman #1
Himself
The Kid With No Coat
